Wedding Weekend Number 2: The Tri-State Edition

Last weekend was a big weekend. Lives changed, old friends returned, milestones celebrated.

Our tale begins Thursday night. Bourbon Samurai and I were seeing a play in the East Village. That meant a pre show drink at good old Grassroots Tavern. The pitcher of Bud light was accompanied by food from a new chicken place next door, a place that fry chickens in olive oil. All the joy of fried chicken, less of the fat! The end result, delicious and less gross than expected.

After checking out the show (which was not quite great, and not really worth discussing much) we wandered north. We had been told that Uber260 was in town for the weekend, and he was seeing a stand up comedy show near by. We called Brownsox, but he was at a political fundraiser at Rudy’s. Now, the idea of a politician who sees Rudy’s as a place to spread his message and raise funds scares the shit out of me, but I am told Rudy’s does this very often, so I guess I know little about our government (or I know too much). We eventually found where the show was, and waited for the show to let out.

Next door to the venue was a bar. It looked like a standard Irish bar, so we went inside for a beer. It was not a standard Irish Bar. It was a NYU hangout, but not where the legal kids go. I would guess the average age was 19 and a half. So young that checking the ladies out made you feel a little dirty, and all the other guys in the bar made you want to kick the shit out of them. The worst was the bouncer, who tried to stop some 18 year old kids from coming in, but eventually gave up after their whining about ‘being in earlier’. It’s gotta suck being a bouncer in the east village.

Shortly, the show got out, and we found Uber260, Groucho, and Kodez inside. We joined them at the reception afterwards for some free red wine. Now I have come to learn that ‘free red wine’ is code for ‘horrible headache’ so I did not partake. After a while, Brownsox joined us. He was talking to Uber260 and Bourbon, and Bourbon gestured in such a way that he knocked over Brownsox glass, spilling the entire contents of the glass over the entirety of Brownsox’s white button-down shirt. The area coverage was amazing and somewhat unprecedented in bar room spills (an area where I hold a doctorate).

After the free booze was done, we went looking for a place that would sell booze. We traveled back down to Revival, but found it so full that people were literally spilling out the front door. We then hit up the next door bar, Shades of Green, which I had also heard good things about. The bar lived up, thanks mostly to its cool Irish bartender, who happened to be the coolest Tottenham fan I had ever met (which is an uncomfortable thing to write). After several rounds, I broke down and started a conversation about politics, mostly because Uber260 is one of the few religious conservatives I know and I wanted to hear what the other half of America has to say for themselves. Sadly, the number of drinks it took to make me harass Uber260 about politics made me unable to speak intelligently on the subject. Not surprisingly, Bourbon and Brownsox took the opportunity to rant about the Right, which they can do with much more passion and information than I can. Around 2am, Bourbon and I realized we had jobs, and bid the rest of the drunkards a fond good night.

After less sleep than normal, I completed the work day and spent the evening at my parents’ place. I opted to say in this night, and went with my father up to Westchester. I did take the opportunity to have my favorite Chinese food (First Wok on the UES, a staple), finally catch Juno (which was good, but overhyped) and caught up on “Mad Men” (see this show. The true Heir of “The Sopranos”. I want to be Don Draper when I grow up). The one night off in a super-weekend.

Saturday was the big day, Jersey and Zoroastrian’s wedding. I woke up around 10 and hung out waiting for the crew to arrive in Westchester. For reasons still lost to me, Uber260 and Brownsox decided to rent a car. A key difference between Uber260 and myself (which makes sense considering our geography) is that Uber260 is uncomfortable being without a car and I am uncomfortable with having to deal with one. The boys did arrive, with Kodez, LaMama, and LadyGunner, around noon. I grabbed Kodez and Uber260, and headed to the beverage barn, a local Beer Depot whose selection is second to none. Stocked up for the end of the night, we met up with Bourbon, and headed to the wedding.

The wedding was in Warren CT, a middle of nowhere town about an hour fifteen away from my place. Basically, Zoroastrian’s dad bought a ton of forest land, cleared it, and built a house, some grounds, and a greenhouse. He has a pimp view of the river as well. Good eye for the land, this one.

The ceremony was really cool, using pieces of Indian ceremony with vows written by the couple and a brief sermon by Friar Teach (seriously, Teach got ordained online and married them. We want him to do this professionally). Teach’s speech was really great, but Jersey’s statement was the real tear jerker of the show. I getting a little misty eyed just thinking about it.

The business concluded we got down to partying. I had agreed to drive home, so I only had a beer or two, and kept things cool. Everyone else drank with sane gusto. Sadly, the couple did not have a wedding party, so no emotional bridesmaids to hit on. In general, not a ton of young people present more of a family affair. We did meet Zoroastrian’s oldest friend, who joined our team of miscreants for most of the wedding. The reception featured a burrito bar, amazing short ribs, and dancing via Jersey’s Ipod connected to the sound system (Jersey has real good taste in music, the occasional ‘elf rock’ non-withstanding). Eventually we rocked the dance floor, and I remembered that dancing sober is a rough thing for a white man. Brownsox made up for my sober white man dance with his crunched Indian jam, so it all evened out. The night wore on, the temperature dropped, and we eventually packed it in.

The wedding was in the afternoon, so by the time we got back it was only 10:30, so we decided to keep drinking. We went through the Coors Lite we had bough earlier, and drained a bottle of Jameson and another bottle of Whiskey. Teach and I especially attacked the Jameson with shot after shot once we got back. The evening started sedate, with all of us drinking and discussing important topics in the kitchen. The conversation did end up with the idea that if society should have capital punishment, executions should be public instead of hidden away. I countered that my commute was hard enough without having to deal with the crowds in Times Square for the five o’clock beheading. We went on like this until the ladies went to bed, then it got messy.

We went down to the game room to get more beer. Uber260 and I played some pool, and Teach got the rest of the guys into a game of Spades. I played pool until I realized I was too drunk to use math. At this point, the emotional weight of the evening began to hit us. I laid a quarter-life crisis rant on Uber260, which he countered with an intense round of the ‘you are so money and you don’t even know it’s. The Spades game fell into the boy’s club sex conversation, which often dipped into hilarity. Around 3am, I hit the wall and called it a night. The rest of the guys did not follow suit until 5:30, and they were all up before me. Rough.

Sunday was a day of rest and relaxation right? Nope. Sunday was Kodez’s birthday. Fate even gave Kodez the gift of the Dolphins kicking the crap out of the Patriots (really a gift for all mandkind). That evening, after we drove back into town and all took naps, we all met up for dinner at Mezzo Mezzo. It may have been the first time that the gang made it to Mezzo, and we only needed one bottle of wine. After dinner, instead of the usual bar partying enjoyed on a birthday, we all retired to my place to watch the Academy Award Winning film* Talladega Nights, The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. A great low-key way to top a high key weekend.


*Best Film Ever Made, beating out Highlander