Great Bars in NYC: No Idea, cause I can't afford to drink at Gramercy Tavern

Existing at the foot of Gramercy just north of Union Square, No Idea is an acquired taste. Its design, a long narrow hallway with a really long bar, makes large parties feel cramped and getting to the bathroom a battle. Its décor is simple, and often damp for some scary reason. That being said, the place does have a variety of charms. The beers ain’t too pricey, the mixed drinks come in pint glasses, and it claims to be the founder of the infamous ‘name night’ (every day, they choose a name, and anyone with that name drinks for free until 11pm). Anyone who watched late night cable in NYC probably has seen their ad. Do not judge the bar by it.

My defining story of No Idea revolves around the man who introduced it to me, Sketchrock. Sketchrock has made No Idea is Friday Happy hour spot for several years now. No surprise that when his last birthday rolled around, on a Friday night, he chose to spend it there. I rolled down to meet him there after a very nice meal with Banker and Zorba, where I was already working on a good buzz. Sketchrock was there with a bunch of teacher friends, and a girl who I would later find out was his 20 year old girlfriend (S.R. always has a way with the ladies). Sketchrock and I did what we always do, drink heavily and reminisce about past debauchery; usually the first time we got wasted together where we spilt 5 bottles of wine, he vomited in his girlfriend’s sink and blamed it on me, and everyone believed him because I was a freshman and he was a junior (Agist bastards). I chatted with Sketchrock’s new girlfriend, and had a lovely conversation with another teacher about the pros and cons of Infinite Crisis.

This is also the night I met the Stuntman. The Stuntman is in fact a working film and stage Stuntman, and is a regular at No Idea. He is a giant of a man, with long blonde hair and a matching beard. He and Sketchrock became friends at the bar through their shared love of boozing and Shakespeare. Now I also love those two things, so the Stuntman and I hit it off quite quickly. He told me the tale of the time he played Toby Belch, which is about as perfect casting as I have ever heard, assuming the giant can act. While the Stuntman at first seemed awesome, as the night and drinking went on, he became a tad overbearing. It is usually okay for someone to get more intense as they drink, but when and 6 and a half bulky dude who you just met keeps giving you bear hugs and talking about how much he loves your friend, it gets a little weird. All being said, the Stuntman is a cool cat, just not a man you need to drink with everyday. Luckily, some other friends showed up and extracted me before the Stuntman crushed me in a sign of drunken affection.

In a neighborhood lacking in solid bars, No Idea, while a little ghetto, serves a key purpose. One day, that little chalkboard behind the bar will read “Nick” and I will drink it out of business, but until then, enjoy!