Quantumas goes for a hat trick

Its time again for the highest of the High Holy Days, right behind the mass birthday and December 30th (where Hubris and I get drunk in spite of New Years). The day when I look Death in the eyes, and Death boots. Its Quantumas!. I will not go into details about the history or odd nature of this great holiday, but will just tell you, the reader(s?) how the third annual Quantumas went down.

The evening began at Teach’s place for some pre-partying. The cast of mourners included Teach, Arsenal, Hubris, Sketchrock, Uber260, Rockstar, Slaggard, Kodez, and Jersey. We downed a bunch of beers, some Pitu (thanks Slaggard) and some bourbon. We then had the presenting of gifts that I will take into the afterlife. The highlights were a tiara from Rockstar, a young adult novel about a boy who can not die, an absentee Ballot for Mass., and Sketchrock’s grading pen. Hubris again told the story of “living without limits.” God bless him, every year he works on the story to make me sound more hardcore and less like a freak show in the story; thanks buddy! A new part to the Quantumas mythos came when Teach asked if we could submit a great historic drunkard to be chosen as a profit (Oliver Reed will now and forever be the Patron Saint of Quantumas). Teach offered Norman Mailer, citing such great feats as biting off a piece of Rip Torn’s ear among others. After a vote, Mailer was chosen as the first profit of Quantumas, with new profits to be voted on each year.

After some more drinking, we headed out to dinner. We were going to Dinosaur BBQ in Harlem, so we opted for the bus. Right in front of the bus stop, there were cops directing traffic, as it seemed a tire had come off a car. Uber260, ever the soul of aid, offered to help the police remove the tire from the road. The policeman declined, and was kind enough to ignore the large group of drunken fools next to him. As we waited for the bus, we laughed, drained a flask, and made fun of the Vantage Point poster at the bus stop. Our ire of the poster grew so intense, that Teach began running into the poster over and over, in an attempt to destroy it. Yes, the policemen are no more than 3 yards away. We are very lucky the NYC buses are frequent in arrival.

After a jovial bus ride to Harlem, we stumbled over to the West Side Highway, and our dinner destination. We waited at the bar and continued our drinking as they set up our table. At this point, the Banker arrived, leaving his Upper East Side bubble to celebrate Quantumas. Eventually we sat down, and ordered up a whole hunk of BBQ. I must say, the place did not disappoint. The standouts in my mind were the spicy peel and eat shrimp and the pulled pork. Also, the dozen of us ate like kings and drank like Irishmen for under $350. I would have to say that Blue Smoke is still my personal favorite BBQ place, but for sheer fun and value Dino BBQ is off the charts.

After dinner, we decide Hell’s Kitchen is the place to continue the idiocy. At this point, Rockstar and Arsenal disappear into the night without saying goodbye, causing tension in the ranks. Upon hitting the kitchen, Bull Moose seems the best place to continue. Upon arriving, we find, for maybe the first time ever, the upstairs in packed. This shock took the remainder of our momentum away, and then after a few pints, we packed it in, singing AFC songs all the way back to Queens.

And thus was Quantumas 08. While on paper it seems the tamest Quantumas (not a single establishment threatened to ban us) the basic tenets of the holiday, living without limits, remained in tact. Hey, any Quantumas above ground is a good one.